CattoLingo: Ultimate Guide to Internet Cat Talk

Last Updated on November 26, 2021 by Julia Wilson

Absolute unitA large cat or dog
Airplane/aeroplane earsWhen a cat flattens and angles its ears and
they look like the wings of a plane
AngeryAngry cat
AttaccWhen a cat attacks
Baked beansWhen a cat extends its paws towards a heat
BamboozleDo a confuse
Bean sproutsThe tufts of fur between a cat’s toes
Big steppyStretch with only one peet forward
BikkiesCat biscuits/snacks
BlepWhen a cat leaves a small portion of its tongue sticking out
BoiA cat, not necessarily a boy
BonkLovingly head-butt one’s hooman
BoopA little tap on a cat or dog’s nose with your finger
BotthørlëCat butt
CattitudeA cat with an attitude
Cat taxA requirement to post a photo of a cat
ChimkenChicken or a naked catto (ie; Sphynx)
ChonkA chunky cat
Chonk in trainingCat or kitten who is not quite chonky yet but
has chonk potential
ChonkletChonky kitten
ChoochTo do something well
ChoocherA cat who chooches
ChumbyRather plump
ChungusAn epic chonky cat
CloudA white cat
CowA white cat with black markings
CromchEat by crunching wif one’s teefs
CromchiesDry cat biscuits
Danger floofAn exposed belly you want to pet but will
likely encounter murder mittens
Danger noodleSnake
DonkChunky dog
Ear beardsFur tufts inside a cat’s ears
Ear furnishingsFur tufts inside a cat’s ears
EkekekekekekekThe chirping sound a cat makes while watching a bird
FlonkA fluffy cat or kitten
FloofFluffy cat or dog
Forbidden catsRaccoons, possums, otters, red pandas etc.
GorlFemale cat
GremlinA grompy hairless cat
GrompyA grumpy or ill-tempered cat
HambA cat
HambinaA female cat
HambletA kitten
HeckinUsed to emphasise an action (ie; ‘heckin
HimbMale cat
House pantherBlack cat
If I fits, I sitsCat logic for determining if it can fit into
an object (usually a box)
Kitty glitterCat fur on clothing and furniture
Land orcaChonky tuxedo cat
LoafWhen a cat sits with all paws tucked under the body, resembling a loaf of bread
Long boiWhen a cat stretches
MarshmallowA white or cream cat
MerpA sudden vocalisation expressing surprise or
MlemThe sound of the tongue as it moves in and out of the mouth
MonchEat with enthusiam
Murder mittensPaws with the claws out
NakeyHairless cat (ie: Sphynx)
Nip nopsNipples
Nope ropeSnake
NortyNaughty cat
Oh LawdA phrase used to describe the approach of an
absolute unit
PantaloonsThe fluff on the back of a cat’s legs (also known as britches)
PattoTo pet a catto
PeetsCat or dog feet
PirateA cat with one eye
PlopSuddenly flop into a laying position
PointyWhen a cat’s claws are extended
PoochDroopy underbelly (primordial pouch)
Poopie zoomiesWhen a cat races at full speed away from the
litterbox after dropping a poop
PootFart or singular peet
PotateChonky cat in the loaf position
PragonatePregnant cat (also referred to as pregananant,
perfenat, peegnate, pergert, gregnant, pragnart, pragnent, pegrant, pregonate)
PurralyzedWhen a cat is lying on you and you can’t move
PurritoA kitten or cat wrapped in a blanket and
Razzle dazzleTo sit with one leg pointing skyward
SalamiA snack for hambs
SchmooA well-loved cat
ScremMeow in dismay
Secret slonkA cat that appears to be chonky but is just
ShrimpinTo lay curled up in a shrimp shape
Sing the song of my peopleMeow repeatedly for no reason
Sky raisinFly
SlonkLong, slender cat
Slow blinkSign of affection or contentment a cat shows
to his or humans
SnaccTreats or snacks
SnootA cat’s nose
SnoozleA nap
Snout sproutsWhiskers
SocksWhite markings on a cat’s feet and legs
Spicy sky raisinBee or wasp
SplootLay on the stomach with the legs splayed out
SpoopyHeckin scary
SteppersA cat’s feet
Stink faceOpen-mouthed expression when a cat smells
something (Flehmen response)
StompiesWalking all over a human
S t r e t c h u m sA cat stretch
ThiccFat cat
Toasted marshmallowA white floof with darker colouration on the
ears, paws and tail (a pointed cat such as Siamese or Birman)
Toe beansCat or dog toes
TortieA tortoiseshell cat
TortietudeA tortie cat with attitude
Triangle tailWobbly stage of kittehood during which the
tail is triangle shaped
Tripod catA cat with three legs
TroublepuffsMale testicles
Tummy trapAn exposed belly you want to pet but will likely encounter murder mittens
VoidA black cat
WonkyA special needs cat
ZoomiesWhen a cat races around at full speed (usually
in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep)