CattoLingo: Ultimate Guide to Internet Cat Talk

Word Meaning
Absolute unit A large cat or dog
Airplane/aeroplane ears When a cat flattens and angles its ears and
they look like the wings of a plane
Angery Angry cat
Attacc When a cat attacks
Baked beans When a cat extends its paws towards a heat
Bamboozle Do a confuse
Beans Toes
Bean sprouts The tufts of fur between a cat’s toes
Big steppy Stretch with only one peet forward
Bikkies Cat biscuits/snacks
Birb Bird
Blep When a cat leaves a small portion of its tongue sticking out
Boi A cat, not necessarily a boy
Bonk Lovingly head-butt one’s hooman
Boop A little tap on a cat or dog’s nose with your finger
Botthørlë Cat butt
Bouffées de trouble Testicles
Cattitude A cat with an attitude
Cat tax A requirement to post a photo of a cat
Catto Cat
Chimken Chicken or a naked catto (ie; Sphynx)
Chonk A chunky cat
Chonk in training Cat or kitten who is not quite chonky yet but has chonk potential
Chonklet Chonky kitten
Chooch To do something well
Choocher A cat who chooches
Chumby Rather plump
Chungus An epic chonky cat
Cloud A white cat
Cow A white cat with black markings
Cromch Eat by crunching wif one’s teefs
Cromchies Dry cat biscuits
Danger dangles Testicles
Danger floof An exposed belly you want to pet but will likely encounter murder mittens
Danger noodle Snake
Donk Chunky dog
Doggo Dog
Ear beards Fur tufts inside a cat’s ears
Ear furnishings Fur tufts inside a cat’s ears
Ekekekekekekek The chirping sound a cat makes while watching a bird
Famcy Fancy
Flonk A fluffy cat or kitten
Floof Fluffy cat or dog
Foob Food
Forbidden cats Raccoons, possums, otters, red pandas etc.
Frien Friend
Gib Give
Gorl Female cat
Gremlin A grompy hairless cat
Grompy A grumpy or ill-tempered cat
Hamb A cat
Hambina A female cat
Hamblet A kitten
Heckin Used to emphasise an action (ie; ‘heckin zoomies’)
Henlo Hello
Himb Male cat
Hooman Human
House panther Black cat
If I fits, I sits Cat logic for determining if it can fit into an object (usually a box)
Kitty glitter Cat fur on clothing and furniture
Land orca Chonky tuxedo cat
Loaf When a cat sits with all paws tucked under the body, resembling a loaf of bread
Long boi When a cat stretches
Marshmallow A white or cream cat
Merp A sudden vocalisation expressing surprise or alarm
Mlem The sound of the tongue as it moves in and out of the mouth
Monch Eat with enthusiam
Murder mittens Paws with the claws out
Nakey Hairless cat (ie: Sphynx)
Nip nops Nipples
Nope rope Snake
Norty Naughty cat
Oh lawd A phrase used to describe the approach of an absolute unit
Pantaloons The fluff on the back of a cat’s legs (also known as britches)
Patto To pet a catto
Peets Cat or dog feet
Pirate A cat with one eye
Plop Suddenly flop into a laying position
Pointy When a cat’s claws are extended
Pooch Droopy underbelly (primordial pouch)
Poopaloop Butthole
Poopie zoomies When a cat races at full speed away from the litterbox after dropping a poop
Poot Fart or singular peet
Potate Chonky cat in the loaf position
Pragonate Pregnant cat (also referred to as pregananant, perfenat, peegnate, pergert, gregnant, pragnart, pragnent, pegrant, pregonate)
Purralyzed When a cat is lying on you and you can’t move
Purrito A kitten or cat wrapped in a blanket and purring
Razzle dazzle To sit with one leg pointing skyward
Salami A snack for hambs
Schmoo A well-loved cat
Screm Meow in dismay
Secret slonk A cat that appears to be chonky but is just fluffy
Shrimpin To lay curled up in a shrimp shape
Sing the song of my people Meow repeatedly for no reason
Sky raisin Fly
Slonk Long, slender cat
Slow blink Sign of affection or contentment a cat shows to his or humans
Smol Small
Snacc Treats or snacks
Snek Snake
Snoot A cat’s nose
Snoozle A nap
Snout sprouts Whiskers
Socks White markings on a cat’s feet and legs
Spicy sky raisin Bee or wasp
Sploot Lay on the stomach with the legs splayed out behind
Spoopy Heckin scary
Steppers A cat’s feet
Stink face Open-mouthed expression when a cat smells something (Flehmen response)
Stompies Walking all over a human
S t r e t c h u m s A cat stretch
Teef Teeth
Thicc Fat cat
Toasted marshmallow A white floof with darker colouration on the ears, paws and tail (a pointed cat such as Siamese or Birman)
Toe beans Cat or dog toes
Tortie A tortoiseshell cat
Tortietude A tortie cat with attitude
Triangle tail Wobbly stage of kittehood during which the tail is triangle shaped
Tripod cat A cat with three legs
Troublepuffs Male testicles
Tummy trap An exposed belly you want to pet but will likely encounter murder mittens
Void A black cat
Wonky A special needs cat
Woofers Dogs
Zoomies When a cat races around at full speed (usually in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep)

Feature image: StockSnap/Pixabay


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    Julia Wilson is the founder of Cat-World, and has researched and written over 1,000 articles about cats. She is a cat expert with over 20 years of experience writing about a wide range of cat topics, with a special interest in cat health, welfare and preventative care. Julia lives in Sydney with her family, four cats and two dogs. Full author bio